"Grandma, Matt and I would like to have a discussion.
You told us how his baby brother or sister was inside his mommy's tummy
and now we want to know how does it get outta there."

Grandma is glad she made the coffee very strong.
"And did either of you guys ask your moms about this?," she hedged.
Jacob and Matt responded together ... "She said to ask Grandma!"
"I don't suppose you'd believe that baby has a trowel and is going to dig a tunnel?"
"Grandma!"
"Maybe stage a prison break?"
"GRANDMA! Stop teasing! This is serious!," said Jacob.

"Mmmm, you're right. I can't do a Prissy ... don't ask; it's 'Gone With The Wind' ...
get some milk and some of the cookies I baked and sit."

"I heard mommy and daddy Marine Mike doing huffy puffy things ...
they said they were practicing to have the baby, Grandma," ventured Matt, "and I don't understand."

"All right. The baby is inside the mommy's tummy but that tummy is very special
and it has a safe place for the baby to float around in and do doggy paddles.
You've both felt the baby do little kicks, right?",
Grandma said thinking fast and drinking coffee even faster.
"Ya mean my mommy has a wading pool in her tummy!", exclaimed Matt.

"That'll work," giggled Grandma. "It's called an amniotic sac but we'll go with the wading pool.
Now here's the deal. I'll tell you exactly what happens but you must promise not to say yuk, icky or gross.
Because it's not. It's really a miracle and a terrific gift to be able to have the baby be born.
High five me if we have a deal."
Smack, smack and the deal was set.

"Jacob, would you please go into my bathroom
and get that really large tube of toothpaste for me ... it's on the sink."
Jacob zoomed off and back and presented the tube to Grandma.

"Moms have a very special passage ... like a secret corridor ... and the baby will come out there.
Now she can't blow her baby out like bubble gum so this pathway is below her tummy.
So the mommy does that huff and puff and that causes action ...
each of you take a real big breath in with your noses and then blow it out your mouth."

The boys follow Grandma's instructions.
"Didn't you feel things in your ribs and back and tummy when you did that?"
Heads nod.

"OK. Jacob, please take the cap off the tube of toothpaste.
Now Matt you squeeze the end of the tube."
Water gushed out. "Oh," cried Matt, "the wading pool?"
"Right! Good going, Matt!, and Grandma gave him a hug.

"OK now Jacob, let's get that baby out. Huff, puff and squeeze the tube!"
Out came the toothpaste!

"Hey, Matt", said Jacob, "we'll put some water back in the tube
and then we can explain things to your Mom and mine!"
"Kewl, and I'll bet she'll let us feel the baby kicking in the wading pool again,"
cried Matt. "Thanks, Grandma!"

"Is our meeting over?" asked Grandma.
"Well, there is just one other thing," said Jacob.
Grandma poured another cup of coffee.

"We're all supposed to choose an instrument to learn to play ...
they have all kinds that were donated to the school and we'll have a band!"
"Yeah, Grandma," added Matt, "and I'm going to choose a trumpet!"
Grandma braced herself against the kitchen table. "Have you made your choice, Jacob?"
"Just now, Grandma. With all this knowing about huffing and puffing, I'm going to learn to play a tuba!"

What could she say?

OOMPAH and UFFDAH!

© Connie Good
08/19/06

Dedicated to ALL grandmothers
including my own wonderful
Caroline Ann and Jennetta Victoria.

OOMPAH!!!!!!!!!

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