Jacob and Matt were having a dandelion digging contest in the yard ...
whoever dug the most would get an extra peanut butter dip veggie!
Grandma was nearly hidden behind a forsythia bush which forsooth was totally overgrown
and was chopping away with her hedge clippers.
Suddenly both boys screamed, "Grandma!!!!"
She saw them running to her as a vehicle began pulling away from the curb ...
As she ran towards it, the boys ran into the house ... bang went that screen door.
Grandma pitched the big clippers toward the vehicle
and grabbed her cellphone from her pocket quick dialing Jacob's daddy.

"Jim, sorry if I woke you but stay on the line and get over here ...
we just averted an abduction attempt, I think!"
"Are the boys OK, Grandma? I'm on my way!!!"

"Yes, but they need you and I'll call Marine Mike after we talk so he can talk to Matt."

Grandma headed for the house where Matt proudly announced he'd called 911. "Good, honey ...
I've got your daddy on here ... did you see the driver? What did he say?"

Matt piped up. "He said his kitten had jumped out of the carrier .... " as Jacob took up the story,
"... and would we ride with him to look for her. That's when we hollered and ran to you!"

Jim Mac Donald, Jacob's police officer dad, took in what he heard and asked if anyone could describe the man.
Jacob answered, "He was a white guy, Dad, and didn't have much hair but we ran so fast ...."
"That's OK, Jacob, you and Matt did exactly the right thing. Grandma, what kind of vehicle was it?"
"Gosh, Jim. One of those Suburban Ugly V's things; they all look alike but it was dark brown with some rust
... did you boys see the license?"

"I saw an orange, Grandma, and that'd be Florida, right?", said Jacob.
"Got that, Jim?"
"Copy that."
"Oh, I saw caravan on the back and, Jim .... "
"What else, Grandma?"
"Well it'll have a fresh dent on the passenger rear where I threw the trimmer
and there was some duct tape on a window."

"So you vandalized the car, Grandma?", Jim chuckled.
"Suppose so."
"OK my ETA there is three minutes and I'm calling the chief;
crime averted but that molester will strike somewhere else if we don't get him."

"Right. He'll probably head for the interstate and drive carefully but you could get him on a minor violation
like the duct tape. And the SUV was probably stolen, too."
"You're way ahead of me, Grandma!"

Matt's mom, Joyce, arrived back from an errand and was astounded to hear the news
and grabbed the phone when it rang.It was Marine Mike at the base.
"Joyce, ma'am, may I talk to Matt?"
Mike assured his adopted nephew that'd he'd come by later and they'd talk things over.

Jim arrived and reported the chief had radioed all units to be on the lookout.
He held both boys and high fived for a good job done.
"And Grandma, thanks and I'm going on duty early and cruise around. I'll call you."

"I think Joyce and I will go grocery shopping because I promised the boys
I'd show them how to make candy from parsnips.
We'll have the cell with us, Jim."

Jim just shook his head in wonder and like father, like son, slammed that screen door!

The shopping cart had been loaded when Grandma and Joyce steered, with assistance, toward the produce section.
"OK, boys, today we concentrate on root vegetables.
They aren't always pretty but treat 'em right and they taste mighty good!
See this? It's a parsnip ... like a carrot but not orange. Ah, we need carrots, too.
And let's get some turnips. Oh, Jacob, can you reach that funny waxy thing?
Good. Now that's a rutabaga and they are way ugly but we'll take one of those, too!
Heck you can play ball with that! Uh oh! Not in here, guys!"

Back in the kitchen, Grandma showed the boys how to wash everything carefully
except for the rutabaga ... that would be used later in soups and boiled dinners.

"Now knives should be very sharp. A dull knife will cut you instead but you'll have to just watch for now.
When things are round, you slice off a section to make it flat and then it won't roll around when you cut it."
She took the carrots and parsnips and made them into very thin strips; "We call that julienne."
"We have a girl at school named Julie Ann," laughed Jacob.
"Guess we better not cook her, Grandma!", added Matt.
"Oh Joyce, what are we gonna do with these two?"
"We'd better feed 'em; you always say that food's the answer, Grandma", replied Joyce with a giggle.

Some butter went into the frying pan. When it began to bubble,
Grandma carefully spooned in the strips and as they began to brown from the natural sugars,
the boys watched with questioning eyes.

"OK, I promised you candied veggies ... careful, they're hot!"
"Wow, they taste like candy, Matt!"
"Can you say carmelization, Jacob?"
"Not with my mouth full, Grandma!"
Grandma laughed and got out the peanut butter. "Of course these turnips I peeled would work, too,
but we're going to eat them raw. Now don't look at me so funny; you eat raw carrots, right?"
Heads nodded.
"Dip a wedge of turnip in your peanut butter."
"Hey, that's good," said Matt. "Try one, Mom!"

Sirens sounded. In came Jim with a grin as wide as the world.
"We got him! And he'd pulled off to fix a flat tire. You were right, Grandma.
Stolen vehicle and known offender and parole violations.
We're not gonna mention the new dent," he explained trying not to laugh.
"There's one thing we haven't figured. There were these push pins stuck in the tire that went flat."

Jacob looked at Matt and they both looked at Grandma who suddenly felt a "bulb" going off in her head.
"Dad, we know, we know!"
Jim looked over at Grandma ... "So, you gonna confess?"
"Well we put up posters for the neighborhood yard sale and I came up short on push pins
and later discovered a hole in my pocket and I guess when the perp rounded the corner and hit the gutter ...... "
Jacob and Matt in unison sang out, "Pop, pop we got the weasel!"
Grandma wiped her eyes and asked, "Parsnips, anyone?"

© Connie Good
August 9, 2005

An ounce of prevention tops amber alerts. Please teach our precious ones what to do and not to do.
Media coverage is vital but needs to be explained. Please take the time to share stories not to frighten
but to make children aware. Push for legislation that works. Thank you. "Grandma".

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